Why did the turkey cross the road?

Hubs and I have new neighbors.

A flock of wild turkey have moved into the neighborhood.  The first time I saw them, there were seven and they were crossing the busy intersection near my house (in suburbia mind you).  The best part was—they were using the crosswalk!  I am serious about this. They were all lined up in a row, waddling across the road in the cross-walk.  They were headed out of a nicer residential area and were making their way to Walgreens.  I suspect they needed to pick up a Redbox movie and some diet root beer (I know that’s why I go to Walgreens).  That was on a Sunday morning back in January.

Since then, I’ve seen the turkeys a bunch of times.  Most often, I see them on my way to work.  What I love is that the wild turkeys have become a connection point in the community.  When I go into the store, I ask the cashier if she’s seen the turkeys lately.  Around the extended-family dinner table, we talk about who has had the most recent turkey sighting.  Those darn birds are famous. 

Here’s the sad part though, their numbers have been dwindling.  Back when I first spotted the turkeys crossing the road, there were seven.  My father-in-law claims he saw eleven in December.   And then there is the bagger at Jewel who claimed to have seen twenty-five, but I don’t trust him because he also bags my hamburger buns with my canned goods.   

Anyway, in February Hubs noticed that the count was down to six.  Then one day one of the birds appeared with a gimpy leg and then all of a sudden, there were only five.  About a month ago, the turkeys were down to three… and then just as suddenly, there were only two.  When Hubs was driving me to work last week, we saw only one.  Just one lonely turkey standing in an empty lot. 

Do you know how sad it is to see a lonely bird standing in a lonely, empty lot?

It’s downright depressing... and evidently the turkey thinks so too because he tried to commit bird suicide on Tuesday evening.  

My mother-in-law was driving home from work on Tuesday evening in her silver Toyota Echo.  She was headed up the road past the aforementioned, empty lot.  When she reached a red light, she pulled to a stop to wait for the green.  While waiting, she noticed the lone bird walk off the curb and walk in front of her car.  The only thing is, she never saw it come out the other side.  By the time the traffic light turned green, she still hadn’t seen the bird pass her car.  Not knowing what else to do, she turned on her hazards, got out of her car (with a line of other cars waiting behind her) and walked to the front of her vehicle.  Can you believe it—the turkey was SITTING right in front of her car!  She had to vigorously run at the bird, waving her arms in the air like a crazy person to get it to move.  

And there’s even more-- In the time that it took my mother-in-law to climb back into her car and pull away, the bird had walked around to the back of her vehicle and sat down in front of the SUV next in line.  Turkey and mashed potatoes anyone?